Wednesday, October 3rd, 2007
The reasons for such tolerance on the part of the parents is usually sourced with the parents own incompetence at home and their own in adequacies as parents to retain acceptable control of their children. This division in standards does not seem to have an adverse effect upon children; the children simply adjust their behaviour between school and home. As long as the children understand there is a difference between what is acceptable at home and what is expected elsewhere, then why should there be a problem?
As a child of parents living overseas, the headmistress of the boarding school I attended was appointed my legal guardian. This gave her carte blanche to apply whatever disciplinary measures she thought fit. Luckily the lady was well adjusted, affectionate and kind. Had she not been my life might have been somewhat of a disaster for the ten months I spent in her care. The key is, of course, to carefully choose the establishment you send your children to, rather than lay down all kinds of rules about how they are allowed to treat your child.
Punishment, for some parents, equals torture for the child. Nothing could be further from the truth of course and only parents who display high levels of incompetence hold this opinion. As a child at school I was fully aware that if I left my bed unmade and my laundry unwashed it was likely I would be required to clean the chapel windows inside and out over two weekends and miss television. I did so often, cheerfully and in company with all the other kids who liked to trespass near the edge of the dormitory matron’s patience.
So many children live unhappily in the no man’s land between right and wrong, daily treading the path of wrong doing but going unpunished, never getting the guidance they so badly need to set them along the right road again. It would be wrong to suggest that kids enjoy punishment; they do not. They do, however, find strict guidance comforting. The perimeters are then laid out clearly and safely. Cause and effect is applied more easily by kids, i.e. if you do this or that, this or that will happen as a result. The formula, if you like, is then simple for them to understand and behave within the boundaries of what is allowed and what is not acceptable.
Parents who are unable to discipline their children need to rely more and more on the discretion of teachers to teach their child not only the basics of education but also fundamental social behaviour which will see them through life. If teachers are not allowed to pass on these skills to children without risking their jobs, where does this leave the kids? Someone has to teach our children right from wrong.
Dipetik dari EzineArticles oleh Jan_Gamm